Crimes Against Shakespeare 006

BH 6000

I’ve thought long and hard since I saw this article in the Guardian yesterday … and the upshot is, I’m simply not having it!

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Crimes Against Shakespeare: 005

 

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My gut reaction deserted me a little for this one, perhaps because of the subject matter, so I found myself consulting both my girlfriend and my best friend, the latter also an English teacher. Second and third opinions corroborating my initial intake of breath, and therefore I am pleased to present you my latest Crimes Against Shakespeare Award …

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Post 100: Shakespeare is my Playstation

BH ps ad 2
In the day I do my job … but at night I live a life of exhilaration

 

“What do you do, then, if you don’t watch TV?”

One of my opening gambits with new classes every year is the simple statement that I don’t do TV.  ‘We might as well get it out of the way, folks.’  I loathe, truly loathe, the way it commands all my senses, to the exclusion of anything else.  I usually read with mood music, I can type listening to something too (it’s Pink Floyd‘s Brick In The Wall at the moment), but I simply dislike TV as a way to spend my precious spare time.  Reading, no, reading is NOT the same.

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PTS 04/026: The Taming Of The Shrew Soundtrack Album

Slowly but surely I’m building my Shakespeare Jukebox, with a soundtrack album for each play I tick off in the Ponytail Shakespeare read-through.

Here’s my Taming Of The Shrew Soundtrack Album (and I make no apologies at all for my dubious and decidedly old taste in music: let me know what’s missing, you young whippersnappers …

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Crimes Against Shakespeare 004

BH futerfas 2Alan Futerfas: because being pictured with an enormous phallic symbol sends a powerful message to the world about you …

Please, pretty please, Mr Futerfas, leave Shakespeare out of things – it doesn’t lend you any gravitas: ‘they’ will NOT, in the words of Cole Porter, “all kow-tow” …

In fact, some might be tempted to suggest you are over-compensating, and use Curtis‘ words to Grumio in The Taming of the Shrew:

‘Away, you three-inch fool”  (IV.i.23)

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Can you overdose on Shakespeare?

BH will kempe
Contrary to popular belief, this isn’t how we teachers spend our time once the exams are over …

‘Give me excess of it, that surfeiting,

The appetite may sicken and so die.’

(DUKE ORSINO:  Twelfth Night, I.i.2-3)

So, as we enter the final stretch, you’d think that we teachers would be winding down, right?  Imitating Will Kemp in his warm up for his ‘Nine Days’ Wonder‘, by cavorting up and down the corridors of the English block in carefree abandon, greeting fellow English teachers with a hearty ‘hey, nonny nonny!‘ as we pass their empty classrooms?

Not a bit of it, sadly.  Whilst our exam classes have donned their gladrags and tottered off into the distance on their improbable high heels (and that’s just the boys, obviously), we’re left with end-of-year assessments for everyone else, which naturally have to be turned around pretty damn quickly.

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