I dedicate this to all the Y12 and Y13 students whose typed submissions I am marking at the moment. You deserve something in return for the frequent face-palms and occasional belly-laughs you are giving me …
Hay Spiel-Chequer Lessen.
Stewed-ants, too-daze lessen his a bout de weighs inn witch spiel-chequers cant bee deep-ended own.
‘Owe, know!’
eye here ewe grown …
Bare inn mined: spiel-chequers half know eyed-dear off watt reel hew-man inn-telly-gents hiss; day half know mined off thereon. Ewe mite loose sew men-y Marx bye sim-plea yew-sing thees prog-rams, ass eye half demons-treated four ewe awl hear. Wan they sewn com-pewters mite bee thee mass-trace, butt knot know! Art-if-fish-al inn-telly-gents his two-morrow’s whirled, knot two-daze!
Butt, eye here ewe essay: Sheikhs-pier spelt paw-lea. Daunt bee Chi-quay! Hive red yore rite-inn: Ewe our deaf-inn-net-lea knot Sheikhs-pee-er …
Two conk-lewd: donut bee a spiel chequer hid-eyot. Prove reed yore a-sign-meant bee-fore yew gif hit too yore tee-char!
Fan-queue four reed-din diss, stewed-ants.
The Boar's Head, Eastcheap 