Alan Futerfas: because being pictured with an enormous phallic symbol sends a powerful message to the world about you …
Please, pretty please, Mr Futerfas, leave Shakespeare out of things – it doesn’t lend you any gravitas: ‘they’ will NOT, in the words of Cole Porter, “all kow-tow” …
In fact, some might be tempted to suggest you are over-compensating, and use Curtis‘ words to Grumio in The Taming of the Shrew:
‘Away, you three-inch fool” (IV.i.23)
If the situation weren’t so serious, we might turn to Caesar‘s best mate in The Life of Brian, Biggus Dickus. Please watch the clip if you haven’t seen the film – it’s a masterpiece of British humour.
Mr. Futerfas has been appointed to represent Donald Trump Jr. in the Russian Investigations. You remember? That crazy idea that the latest election in the biggest and most important democracy on the planet was somehow compromised by people with an investment in having an absolute ‘bull’s-pizzle’ (as Falstaff might say) elected?
Get this from the Guardian in the UK:
“Alan Futerfas, appointed Trump Jr’s lawyer to represent him in the Russian investigations, described the New York Times report as “much ado about nothing”.
Or this from the New York Times, that other dreadful peddler of ‘fake news’:
“In my view, this is much ado about nothing”
Oooooo-kay.
Now it may just be me, and I may well be using this as a rather flimsy excuse to have a pop at the current US regime here (in fact I know I am, but can’t just stand by), but if you get an email exchange along the lines of:
“This is obviously very high level and sensitive information but is part of Russia and its government’s support for Mr Trump.”
Trump Jr replies 17 minutes later and welcomes the offer. “If it’s what you say, I love it, especially later in the summer.”
(source) I’d suggest that NOTHING is the opposite of what’s gone on. And it’s high time that there WAS much, seriously much, ado about the Trump (senior AND junior) links with Russia. It’s taking too long, America – what more do you want? A signed confession from Putin?
Nothing could be further from Shakespeare’s comedy than the emergence of evidence that appears to link the Trump campaign to foreign attempts to subvert the democratic process.
So, Mr. Futerfas, you get my Crimes Against Shakespeare Award number 4. You biggus dickus.
The Boar's Head, Eastcheap 
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